Listening to my Children Say ‘No’

As we get to know our children better and we put genuine time and effort into getting to know them and prioritising and building our relationship with them we will develop mutual trust and respect with our children.

We mustn’t be afraid or offended when we hear our children say ‘no’ to us. It is not a personal slight on ourselves or our children being rude. It is our children expressing their own personal preference in the simplest way possible.

We should meet their opposition by exploring alternatives until an acceptable way forward has been agreed. In time we will begin to identify, in each given situation, our children’s preferences and be able to offer ideas that will be received positively the first time.

For example, I know that my children have different drink preferences so I offer orange juice, coke, squash and apple juice, accordingly. My children like to wear different coats when we go out so I have a fleece, no coat, winter coat, and coat of current choice, available accordingly. My children all sleep under different conditions so we arrange blackout blinds, eye mask with the door open; nightlight on with the door closed; in a bed next to me with the lights off; and night light on with the door closed, accordingly.

It is a hundred different decisions a day that your children make that you respect and pay attention to and in time they learn to trust you because you have listened and heard them.

Read More:

Trusting our Children

Saying ‘yes’ to our children

Why we should trust our children

Published by heiditsteel

Teacher turned Unschooler: passionate about autonomous education and supporting our children's natural inclination towards learning through play.

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